I thought I made a decision today. I decided to un-install the TOI app from my iPad. I can also choose to ignore it but somehow fingers meander to click it. It was somehow not making my mornings good. I would not say bad as I personally do not know or relate to any of those people who have made it to the news for the very wrong reasons – rather who have been made NEWS by ‘some’ others.
Painfully I am talking about those hapless women about whom we read of being sexually harassed, molested or raped. But do we ‘actually’ feel something towards them or are they just mere names? Do we ‘actually’ construe their situation or feel a deep pain momentarily? Do we ‘actually’ want to know the aftermath or just click a share or click icon in Facebook and think our work is done?
Trust me friends, we ‘actually’ cannot do anything for them even if we want to. I think many of you might differ in opinion and also that this is a much talked about controversies off late. I feel this has become more like a ‘fad’ rather than a ‘serious social curse’. One day these names float across the news and the next they are lost, some other names replaces them. But what happens to the 12-year old daughter who was raped by her step-father; what happened to the 45-year old psycho who sexually abused a village girl; what happens to 6-year old girl who is bearing a child due to a heinous act and the list is endless.
Does the society even understand the reason behind such crimes? Since the recent Delhi incident, I feel, such things are on the rise. Some with horrifying truth and some with fabricated plot. Do we even understand the mental state of a man before the gruesome act or the trauma of a woman after it?
Does a man act out of revenge or frustration? Is he jealous of seeing a woman marching by his side or is he turning against a highly disparate society which could not give him a better living?
Does he want to satisfy himself or his ego struggling in poverty? Is he mentally ill or is he angry that he is not able to provide for his family at home?
Does he want to punish a woman or he thinks he is entitled to it? Is he a staunch male chauvinist or he thinks he can get whatever he wants in the free democracy?
Does he want to show is power or he is fearless? Is he proud to prove his dominance or he thinks he is above law and has the right to destroy a person?
There can be many more psychological traits which might be playing devil in his mind, sometimes he also cannot explain.
But the woman who is a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife and above all a human is deprived of humanity. The life after for many is like living in the slavery of shame, guilt, ignorance and hopelessness. They get lost in a swamp where nobody is ready to step in and take them out.
Few names like in the Delhi case manages to stay ‘in the news’ hopefully for some good but it is more for the prime time debates, or some people expressing their views on it – people who does not know the person behind the name, people who try to say ‘I can understand how she felt’ but at the back of their mind dared to feel ‘what she felt’.
We also ‘actually’ do not want to know how ‘they’ feel, God forbid, we never should. Our concerns, grief and sighs will never cut across the walls of the air conditioned room and reach them. They are being ridiculed in the society and treated as ‘rotten’ in the lot.
What we need to do is change this? They do not need our sympathy, they need a ray of light strong enough to penetrate the societal barriers and assure them that they are not un-wanted. We cannot do anything for a victim but we can cure our minds which too undermines them somehow.
The society needs to place them at per rather than looking down on them, the media needs to help them rather than debating their condition, they need to have the strength and believe that they can fight back and they can continue their lives. They need dream for a future leaving behind their past. It is not a humiliation to them, it is not the end of them—they should dream on and stand back on the society but alas easier said than done.
I know sitting in a luxury room, these words might be easy to pen down but I feel in the end it is THEY who can make a difference in their lives. And for us, we need to be safe and make others safe.
I made a decision, I will read on such news and pray to the Almighty that Sita does not commit suicide rather she fights back, that Maya does not eat poison rather put those maniacs to justice, that Saraswati’s parents does not leave her rather help her in her life ahead.
And the fate of those ‘scavengers’ is worth not written about.
Be proud you are a wo-man; a WOW more than a man.