‘Ek, ek se bhale do; Do, do se bhale teen, Anhoni to Honi Kar de’ – such a sweet trance to soak your tired mind, but just then, my toddler, tossed a toy across the floor and it hit the table and bang went down gift vase and a couple of books from the shelf and of course, my daughter standing just below them. From, the Indian Bollywood mother (Nirupa Roy types), I transformed into a Charlie’s Angel character and dived to save them all.
This is not fiction, but a fact of everyday in my life when I spend almost the entire day with my toddler- feeding her, playing with her, running after her. And there’s more – cooking, managing my WFH, managing MNC (Maid Nanny Cook), some ‘Me’ time, thinking about ‘We’ time and lots more.
Then, when my hubby comes back, it’s still me doing these things- feeding her, running after her, playing with her. But, I guess, my hubby being there means a lot to me like an emotional support. It is not that he doesn’t play with our daughter, but I guess ‘proportionately’ I do more than he does.
Well, ‘do se bhale teen’ will always be a fantasy, but I guess ‘it takes two to tango’ as in both parents are like the both sides of a coin, so parenting wouldn’t be valuable, if one side is crooked.
I am not sure if ‘equal parenting’ would be the right word to choose. For me, it is more like ‘complement parenting’, where me and my hubby completes each other. And, in doing that, it might not be equal always, but a ‘balanced’ one. Where I fail, he succeeds and vice versa. It is more like being there for each other.
To be frank, physical work-wise, I probably do a bit more in our parenting endeavor, but ‘he’ being there as a moral and physical support. We quarrel, we fight, we discuss, we decide and we laugh in these wonderful days of parenting. It is a journey rather than just an experience. We correct each other when either of us are wrong or compliment each other, when one does an excellent job.
My husband used to put my infant to sleep, swaying and swinging, something I was not able to do. There are times, when my husband can bring an instant smile on her face, while I might be trying for long. However, there are so many things that I can do and my husband just gives up.
So, I guess rather than the physical division of tasks, it is the emotional distribution of responsibilities.
My daughter needs us both (though, she is a daddy’s girl), but yes both is us together completes her. What she learns, she sees, she enjoys comes from both of us, without which her life would be incomplete or something would be missing.
Mommies and daddies, time to Get, Set and Go for the ‘three-legged race’ – if one falters, both of you fail. Co-ordination, understanding, trust, support, sharing, teamwork, communication, and above all, believing each other are all that makes parents a true guiding light for their children.
Well, ‘do se bhale teen might sound better’, but if ‘ek aur ek, gyarah’ happens, then life is a bliss! So, never under-estimate the power of two as ‘too many cooks might spoil the broth’.
It definitely takes two for a successful, healthy yet fun parenting!
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